Blazing Etiquette

Everyone has 'house rules' when it comes to smoking.  These rules are never spoken of, or explained, but they must always be adhered to!  It shouldn't need to be explained to Stoners - it's like they are genetically hardwired!

These are our rules....


The joint is passed around clock-wise
This is simple.  There's no real explanation needed here - I suppose some people prefer to pass anti-clockwise, but that's just fucking weird!


Don't bullshit that you are an elite smoker
You'll be found out really fucking fast!  I've met numerous people who love to boast about how they can blaze like fuck, but it's obvious they are bullshitting.  If you aren't elite then just fucking admit it - there's nothing wrong with it!


Don't question an elite smoker's ability
This is just bad manners.  At the end of the day, we have nothing to prove and let's face it - the pussies that are questioning it aren't fucking elite.


The roller of the joint sparks the joint
Also known as roller's rights.  The roller can also offer this right to another.  This is always considered a very generous offer and it should never, ever, be taken for granted.


The roller of the joint douses the joint
Obviously, this is impossible if there are more than say two people in your smoking circle.  However, in a standard pair, the joint is passed back to the roller.  It can be refused by the roller though, but that's pretty fucking unlikely.


Every participating smoker must take their turn to roll
One exception to this rule is if someone has declared themselves to be a novice smoker and is unable to roll a joint. This does not earn you any cool points - unless you happen to be the one with the massive bag of weed!   Let's be honest about this though - everyone who can roll a joint, will do so.  After all, who doesn't love sparking the beast?!


Don't fucking hog the joint
Some people employ the 'puff-puff-pass' rule.  This rule's too fucking strict, I mean, how can anyone really enjoy toking on a joint when everyone in the fucking room is counting how many tokes you're taking (and let's face it - everyone is counting, because they can't wait to get the pass!).  As a general rule of thumb, pass the joint at the point where you would be happy, but not surprised, to be passed the joint yourself by someone else.  I would probably say that the only time that it would be almost acceptable to hog the joint is when the next (and last) person to be passed it is a novice and/or a non-roller.  These guys have no right to complain about hogging because they've contributed fuck all!


Don't refuse a pass
Unless you have declared yourself as a novice smoker, then you shouldn't be refusing a pass.  This is where the pretend-elite get ousted as the pussies that they are!  I once smoked with a guy who claimed he was elite only to refuse a pass in favour of smoking a fucking cigarette.  This is a fucking insult man, this was my weed we were smoking, in my home.  It was almost like him taking a dump in my toilet and leaving it for me to find!



Newcomers do not interrupt the flow
If someone joins the group, the flow does not change.  The person who's next in line for the joint knows that he's next and the current toker doesn't have any right to offer the newcomer the next pass.  However, if the next guy is feeling generous, he can offer the new guy the pass but only if he has not taken a toke of it.  The second he tokes on the joint, he looses the right of 'newcomer hospitality'.


Building and rolling
Generally, each elite would take a turn at rolling a joint.  In the same way that it's passed; in a clockwise direction.  This is assuming that each person has contributed to the weed supply.  If you haven't contributed then you must ask for permission to roll - after all, it's not your fucking weed to just roll a fat one and spark it!  A non-contributer would not usually be in the group for the duration of the stoner session - more than likely they're just passing through.