Toking with the Dealer

Tonight I was pretty bummed as we had no weed.  Well, actually, I've been pretty bummed about it since we fucking ran out!

Fortunately, the Weed-God was smiling down at me.  I happened to end up in the company of my dealer's dealer - purely by accident of course.  I've only ever met this guy once and wasn't really interested in fucking meeting him, but I knew (well, prayed) that he had a big fucking bag of weed about his person!

He sat down  and produced the goods.  I reckon his bag contained about a fucking ounce.  He built perhaps one of the finest joints I'd ever seen!  It was exactly like this fucking belter here!

He sparked the joint and took a long toke of it.... then coughed like a mutha fucker!  Eventually, after recovering a little, he claimed to have put too much weed in it!

"I'll fucking take you up on that challenge, my friend!" I thought, almost aloud!

Then I had a thought - what if this fucking guy doesn't adhere to the universal smoking rules and smokes the whole thing to himself!  Surely fucking not?!?

Then I had another thought - what if this fucking guy claims the right of weed ownership?!  It's his weed so he can smoke it all like a greedy cunt and it would still be within the rules!

He puffed on it some more and coughed some more.

"I'm not gonna fucking cough!"


When someone is preparing to pass a joint, it's almost like a telepathic stoner signal is sent because you know right away when the joint has been placed in the secure position, ready for transfer!

He passed and I picked up the stoner gauntlet.

"Don't fucking cough!!"


The smell coming from this thing was amazing!  It was a really fruity smell.  Turns out it's the most excellent TNT weed!  I mentally noted that the prick had told me earlier that he had no more left - prick!

I took a deep toke and held it to allow my lungs to absorb the THC!  I exhaled with that lovely thick smoke and could fully taste the weed!  It was awesome!  Fair play to this guy, that fucking joint had made it into my Top10 of amazing smokes!

No coughing... so far!  I took another deep hit and the high hit me!  Wow, this is fucking brilliant!  Per the rules, I had to pass the joint back to him, albeit grudgingly! He told me that on average he'll smoke about 2 fucking ounce of weed!  That's what you call a fucking stoner!  Although, it was pretty clear that he had smoked so much that his brain had turned to shit a long time ago!

Still, I hadn't coughed!  I fucking win!

We parted company and he rode of on his motorbike.

I crawled home on my hands and knees.

A fucking motorbike?! Jesus Christ!