The Smokefest - Part 1

Last Sunday night Grimble & I made an oath to get as baked as humanly possible.

Here's what happened:

Hour 1

I arrive at Grimbles place & we get everything set up, I have my own tray, rolling paper, grinder as does Grimble & we both have our own unique style as does every stoner. For instance we both use the thinnest possible paper, this just makes sense, The less paper the better. I roll in the traditional sense (gum facing me as I roll). Where as Grimble rolls backwards. We have enough purpler haze to resurrect Jimi Hendrix.

*Grimble rolls joint #01
It's a reasonably nice night so Grimble rolled a fatty & we smoke it outside. This is the first of the day & is greedily finished & we head inside to roll the second
*Shogun rolls joint #02
I roll the second & we head outside, as we were puffing Grimbles neighbour is out having a sneaky joint of his own. We shoot the shit with him for a while then go back inside.

There's a commotion of kids outside & the van is in Grimbles street. He suggests this could be a good moment to stock up on supplies. We head out & have to wait in a queue surrounded by kids. We've only had 2 joints so far & i can feel myself slowing down a bit. Grimble suggests buying red bull to give us a mental boost later. So I bought a couple of cans of red  bull & a SLUSH!! If anyone doesn't know what a slush is:






Feast your eye's on these. I knew these would be nirvana to a dried mouthed stoner in the early hours. So I bought one & stuck it in the freezer for later.



Hour 2

*Grimble rolls joint #03

We puff the third in the back garden & the neighbour from the other side is out "admiring her garden" Grimble does his neighbourly duty & chats away as I sneakily puff the joint at the other side. As this old dear is waffling on about her beautiful garden I'm puffing away when I should be passing the joint. I cough into my fist saying *"it's a shit garden" cough* not to be rude to the neighbour, I was just trying to make Grimble laugh as he's trying to be nice & respectful. It didn't work though, I probably just looked like a dick fake coughing.Grimble finally comes back & gets the last toke of his joint. Unlucky mate, you're too slow. We go back inside.
*Shogun rolls joint #04
Outside, smoke it, discuss the preferences of stoners on their perfect smoking spot, back inside to roll more.
*Grimble rollsjoint #05
We smoke it peace with no intrusion from any neighbours & we discuss the criminality of smoking weed. I don't want to get into it but I will say this: No-one has ever died from marijuana. 472996 people have died from alcohol causes this year so far!! This will no doubt go up before I post this. Around 5.4 million deaths a year are caused by tobacco yet these are legal! So why is weed banned which is something that doesn't cause deaths but these other drugs are widely available? Fuck 'em.

Hour 3

*Shogun rolls joint #06
We discuss a copper we know who used to smoke weed & sold hash before joining the cops. Fuck that! Imagine if you came across someone you used to smoke with? Or worse some fucker you sold hash to & they try to use that fact against you? Come to think of it I have a photo of him holding a joint at a poker night we were both at. I wonder what that's worth? Maybe hold onto it & if he becomes chief of police it could be very profitable. I'm kidding I would never mess with the cops. It would hurt their feelings.
*Grimmble rolls joint #07
Munchies kick in. We order a pizza. Smoke 7th stick inside the comfort of Grimbles living room. We're feeling suitably relaxed & decide to stick on Eastbound & Down season 2. The pizza arrives. I'm fuckin starving by this point & wolf down most of the pizza.

Hour 4

*Shogun rolls joint #07
Eastbound & Down is on & we're both pretty baked! We're kinda zoned out & only pay attention to the TV. After the 2nd episode is finished we both come alive again & puff the 7th stick. I come up with a stoner question:
SHOGUN: If you could watch a movie which was an origin story of any of your favourite movie characters whose would it be?

GRIMBLE: What?

SHOGUN: If you could watch a movie which was an origin story of any of your favourite movie characters whose would it be?

GRIMBLE: What? A spin off?

SHOGUN: Not necessarily. It would be a story of their life up to the point where you see them in whatever film they're from.

GRIMBLE: Oh, right. Ummmm.......

A minute or so passes in silence as Grimble clumsily puts together a joint & ponders the question

GRIMBLE: I dunno.

SHOGUN: You must be able to think of one?

GRIMBLE: Ummmm....

More minutes pass as Grimbles weed addled brain gets to grips with the enormity of the question.

GRIMBLE: I know. Martin from Knocked Up, that was a funny fucking guy!

SHOGUN: Ha ha! Good one! I'd have Vincent Vega from Pulp Fiction or Floyd from True Romance. 

GRIMBLE: OH FUCK!!

That OH FUCK was regarding the crumpled mess in Grimbles hands that was supposed to be our 8th joint. "I've fucking rolled this inside out!" He had rolled the joint wrong & he had the uphill struggle of getting  fresh paper and doing it again. I was pissing myself laughing at this & thought it was hilarious!

Part 2 coming soon......

Keep Blazin.

Eastbound & Down - Season 1

A few weeks ago Grimble & I sat down with a couple of bags of Northern Lights & I introduced him to the legend that is Kenny FUCKING Powers!

We watched the first season of Eastbound & Down. 6 Episodes back to back & he wasn't disappointed!

This is a great stoner show. Plenty of laughs & cool chraracters. The excellent Danny Mcbride as KP, Steve Little as the untouchable sidekick Stevie Janowski & Katy Mixon as the amazing April Buchanon. Ben Best plays the local bar tender & drug dealer Clegg. There'a few cool cameos by Will Ferrell & Craig Robinson.

The show is hilarious & the next smoke fest we'll be screening season 2. The only question is what type of weed we'll be enjoying.

Keep Blazin'

The best weed tattoo I've seen...

You'd think combining two of my favourite things would be a guaranteed pleaser but I've never really liked weed tattoos. Some of them seem to revel in the illegality. I would obviously like to see marijuana legalised, but more than that I'd like to see the stigma of smoking weed gone. How good would it be when you can spark a joint without a fear of recriminations? I realise a funny (trying to be) weed blog isn't the place for politics so back to the headline: The best weed tattoo I've seen...




Under the magnifying glass you can see the molecular structure of THC. This is cool! This stoner obviously has some brains.



P.s. Feel free to leave comments.



Keep Blazin'

Willie Nelson to sing in court?

Willie Nelson got arrested at a border control in November for possession of marijuana on his tour bus.


The great man said  "I had forgotten that there was this little bag of weed on the bus that had been in the back there for weeks when I had been gone," "Naturally when they stopped us there the dogs came on and the first thing they went to was that little bag of pot." 


Hudspeth County prosecutor Kit Bramblett said they would waive Nelsons drug charge if he "pay a small fine and ... sing Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain with his guitar right there in the courtroom" Ha! Cheeky bastard!


The next day judge Beck Dean-Walker said Bramblett was trying to be funny "and it got out of hand". Fuckin lawyers eh? Who'd've thunk they'd have a sense of humour?


He faced up to 180 days in jail. Fuckin hell? For a little bag of weed? Fortunately he only has to pay $378, I think it's safe to assume he's got that covered.


Here's my favourite Willie Nelson song:

He is one of the coolest dudes ever!


Keep blazin' Willie!

Body Modification

I love tattoos, it's a big passion of mine. I like the whole tattoo scene, being slightly on the fringe of society. I like to think of myself as a pretty open-minded kinda guy, I don't judge shit that's none of my business or that doesn't concern me directly.

With that in mind I present a gallery on a type of body modification. SCARIFICATION!! The name in itself is quite scary.

Scarification is basically cutting designs into the body.

Here's a taster of the gallery:






Check out the rest of it here:

http://www.bizarremag.com/front_website/gallery.php?o=0&id=37381

Pot Ponderings.....

Quick intro, we all have these random thoughts from time to time. I decided to put mine here & call them Pot Ponderings. Boom!


#0001 I don't get hipsters

#0002 Iphones should have cursor keys

#0003 Ampersand is my new favourite word

#0004 Nonchalant used to be my favourite word

#0005 I fucking HATE the use of LOL - No need for it.



Keep Blazin'

Your Highness - Red Band trailer

Can't wait to see this:

Danny McBride is hilarious. It also stars James Franco who is a bit of a stoner himself. Keep a look out for our "So we smoke" (The names not confirmed yet.) post coming soon...

Keep Blazin'

Quite simply a great stoner moment...

Zach Galifianakis is on Bill Maher & the prop 19 debate comes up for discussion:

What a guy! He has a great look of defiant pride on his face as the rest of the panel are stunned. None of them seem pissed off in the least.

Keep Blazin'

My Weekend

Friday

I had a hectic weekend this week. Monday to friday I work in an office for a small company, mainly doing Autocad stuff. Midweek a friend phoned me to ask if I'd come and work in a local bar at the weekends. I had helped out at this bar last year & know a lot of the regulars.
Needing the cash, I agreed. Upon arrival at the bar I was informed by the management that I'd be in charge. Cool you might think but sadly no! This meant I was running the bar & training 2 new guys the whole night. It was the first night open since last year & the place was a tip. As you would expect the place was packed & it was a bit of a farce, but we got through it. Seeing drunk people just reinforces my belief that weed should be legalised. When have anyone ever got stoned & wanted to fight? I could not wait to get home to blaze! I got home at 01:30, smoked a joint then went to bed at 02:00 for the next day I was going to the Scottish tattoo convention!!



Saturday

Up at 07:00 to make my way to Edinburgh with 2 mates for the tattoo convention. I had never been before but being a tattoo enthusiast I kinda knew what to expect. I don't consider myself heavily tattooed (I have around 10) But I intend to get there!! The crowds were great! Every type of tattoos were being sported. Massive colour pieces & black & grey. There was a room with 3 artists doing traditional hand tapped/poked tattoos. No machines! Unfortunately Grimble couldn't be there because of prior commitments. He would've loved it (He has a goth chick fetish ha ha!). I have a rule that I have imposed on myself tattoo-wise, nothing on my hands, face or neck until I have enough cash that I never need to work again. What really pisses me off is when kids get their very first tattoo and it's their last name across their neck. How are they supposed to get a job looking like that? I love tattoos but I know there are people out there who take one look at them & think THUG or LOSER.
It's the same with weed, if you come right out & say you smoke weed some people automatically think you're some kind of bum or worse a junkie! Hence the anonymity of the page. As it was my first convention I decided not to pre-book any sessions before I go & just enjoy having a look around (plus I'm a bit strapped for cash). I wasn't disappointed, I had a great day with some cool people. I got home around dinner time after having a few beers in Edinburgh then a few in Glasgow. I normally don't like to drink too much then smoke as I think it ruins the stone but I shook the booze off and blasted a few bangers after dinner with the wife. We then watched The fighter with Mark Wahlberg & Christian Bale. It was a pretty good film. It was almost like reality TV. It was brutally honest about family, boxing & drug use.

Sunday

The fucking clocks go forward!! I feel robbed of an hour in my bed! I'm writing this at work after almost falling asleep at my desk Sunday was a lazy day, visited my nieces & nephew then went shopping for a bit. Came back home at watched a bit of the Scotland Vs Brazil game. I'm not really into football (soccer) so I didn't  really mind that they lost. After dinner got baked & watched the Ricky Gervais show, 30 Rock & The Office (Michael Scott's leaving will be hard in us all.)




Anyway, that was my weekend.

Keep Blazin'

Smoking Routine

Here's my smoking routine:


Score weed (obviously)
This isn't as easy as you might think, in our part of the world it's more common to get a half oz of resin  than a nice bag of stinky green. So we have to source our supplier with care. I like to think of myself as a weed connoisseur and like to know what I'm buying. My favourite strains at the moment are White Widow (who doesn't love to smoke this?) & Northern lights (smokes like a fucking dream). Grimble has just acquired a nice batch of blue cheese. Which he had to go above & beyond the call of duty to get. Well played my stoner friend.



Location
I know a few stoners who have a "man cave" specifically for blazing & generally bumming around . These suit stoners to a tee. We can blaze in peace and should have enough in them to occupy our frazzled minds. I find big TVs & funny movies are a must.





Smoking buddies
70 % of the time I'll be puffing on my own. Occasionally I'll have my friends round (stoners & non stoners). The non-stoners have no option but to sit in a smoke filled room, which to be fair they don't seem to mind. The requirements for being a smoking buddy are not high but there are a lot of people who seem to break etiquette. I won't go into it here because Grimble has already posted blazing etiquette. Although, here's one: I had a stoner friend who found out that there was another stoner at his place of work. The topic came up & they were chatting away about various weed topics and this guy portrayed himself as hardcore. He then went on to ask my friend how much he could smoke in an evening (now this question to me screams amateur). My friend told him what we smoked when we got together and this fucking guy freaks out saying that we were bullshitting! What? He's just broke two major rules right there!
 My friend tells me this story & I say "well there's only one way to prove it. Let's have a smoke-off!" My friend relayed this info (challenge) back to his workmate and he couldn't make it round that weekend. That was fine, my friend told him it was an open invitation & he was welcome anytime. The only stipulation was to bring weed and that's just good manners. Needless to say he never came round. Ever!

Activities/Topics
This might be as simple as sitting baked playing Call of Duty, watching The Office (which is great) or creating a work of art while painting. Weed inspires! This is what has made Grimble & I start this blog. I like to write comedy too. You need something to occupy your mind while high. I like funny movies anything that gives you the giggles is a good combination with weed. Documentaries can be good too while high, you can really tune in on what it's about. I always make sure anything that needs done is done before I start smoking. There's nothing worse than being totally baked & realising you need to do something mundane like iron your work clothes or something else that'll take the edge off your high. You can have great debates with friends while high, the good thing about this is you almost always agree.

Munchies
There comes a time of the night where you get that familiar rumbling empty stomach feeling. Time for some grub! You can't really go wrong here but I think the key is the less preparation required the better, so it's a good idea to be stocked up beforehand. When Grimble & I have a major sesh we usually call for a takeaway around the 2/3 hour mark. This involves phoning for a kebab which if I'm being honest we probably wouldn't eat if we weren't high. Each to their own on this one. I wouldn't recommend anything too dry or it'll just feel like you're eating cardboard.

So that's it. My smoking routine. All you need is weed, a place to smoke it with or without friends & something to keep you occupied & a good feed.


Keep blazin'

In the beginning..

...weed created stoners.

2 stoners decided to put their sessions to good use & see if the shit the spoke about was as funny as they thought while high.

This is a blog for stoners by stoners.

Ladies & Gentlemen please welcome Shogun & Grimble!!