Willie Nelson to sing in court?

Willie Nelson got arrested at a border control in November for possession of marijuana on his tour bus.


The great man said  "I had forgotten that there was this little bag of weed on the bus that had been in the back there for weeks when I had been gone," "Naturally when they stopped us there the dogs came on and the first thing they went to was that little bag of pot." 


Hudspeth County prosecutor Kit Bramblett said they would waive Nelsons drug charge if he "pay a small fine and ... sing Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain with his guitar right there in the courtroom" Ha! Cheeky bastard!


The next day judge Beck Dean-Walker said Bramblett was trying to be funny "and it got out of hand". Fuckin lawyers eh? Who'd've thunk they'd have a sense of humour?


He faced up to 180 days in jail. Fuckin hell? For a little bag of weed? Fortunately he only has to pay $378, I think it's safe to assume he's got that covered.


Here's my favourite Willie Nelson song:

He is one of the coolest dudes ever!


Keep blazin' Willie!

Body Modification

I love tattoos, it's a big passion of mine. I like the whole tattoo scene, being slightly on the fringe of society. I like to think of myself as a pretty open-minded kinda guy, I don't judge shit that's none of my business or that doesn't concern me directly.

With that in mind I present a gallery on a type of body modification. SCARIFICATION!! The name in itself is quite scary.

Scarification is basically cutting designs into the body.

Here's a taster of the gallery:






Check out the rest of it here:

http://www.bizarremag.com/front_website/gallery.php?o=0&id=37381

Pot Ponderings.....

Quick intro, we all have these random thoughts from time to time. I decided to put mine here & call them Pot Ponderings. Boom!


#0001 I don't get hipsters

#0002 Iphones should have cursor keys

#0003 Ampersand is my new favourite word

#0004 Nonchalant used to be my favourite word

#0005 I fucking HATE the use of LOL - No need for it.



Keep Blazin'

I Smoke Every Weed

Your Highness - Red Band trailer

Can't wait to see this:

Danny McBride is hilarious. It also stars James Franco who is a bit of a stoner himself. Keep a look out for our "So we smoke" (The names not confirmed yet.) post coming soon...

Keep Blazin'

Supposed Skunk

I decided to get myself a bag of the unknown TNT weed.  Last night, I rolled myself a joint and settled down for the Family Guy double.  It was a nice, smooth smoke but to be honest, it felt weak.  I'd say probably around the ten minute mark I felt my legs tingle - then, before I knew it I felt like my head was stuck in a cloud!  It's a really good head fuck, almost trippy and lasts for fucking ages!

So today, Shogun calls the house.  It's the middle of the day, so I knew this was important...

A quarter of weed was on offer - £55.  It was unknown stuff.  I considered our previous arrangement of staying clear of unknowns.

"I'm in!"


However, his guy was delaying like a mother fucker in delivering!  We had to come up with a contingency plan and come up with it fucking fast!

I got onto my guy in the hope that he happened to have a q of the unknown TNT.  There was bad news.  There was fucking none.  Fortunately, he had loads of the supposed Skunk for fifty fucking quid! We had our contingency!

Our original guy hit us with more delays so the deal was off and in less than thirty minutes, we had a q of Skunk!

I'm high as fuck right now - The Cleveland Show is on.

Heyyyy Daddyyyyyyy

Quite simply a great stoner moment...

Zach Galifianakis is on Bill Maher & the prop 19 debate comes up for discussion:

What a guy! He has a great look of defiant pride on his face as the rest of the panel are stunned. None of them seem pissed off in the least.

Keep Blazin'

My Weekend

Friday

I had a hectic weekend this week. Monday to friday I work in an office for a small company, mainly doing Autocad stuff. Midweek a friend phoned me to ask if I'd come and work in a local bar at the weekends. I had helped out at this bar last year & know a lot of the regulars.
Needing the cash, I agreed. Upon arrival at the bar I was informed by the management that I'd be in charge. Cool you might think but sadly no! This meant I was running the bar & training 2 new guys the whole night. It was the first night open since last year & the place was a tip. As you would expect the place was packed & it was a bit of a farce, but we got through it. Seeing drunk people just reinforces my belief that weed should be legalised. When have anyone ever got stoned & wanted to fight? I could not wait to get home to blaze! I got home at 01:30, smoked a joint then went to bed at 02:00 for the next day I was going to the Scottish tattoo convention!!



Saturday

Up at 07:00 to make my way to Edinburgh with 2 mates for the tattoo convention. I had never been before but being a tattoo enthusiast I kinda knew what to expect. I don't consider myself heavily tattooed (I have around 10) But I intend to get there!! The crowds were great! Every type of tattoos were being sported. Massive colour pieces & black & grey. There was a room with 3 artists doing traditional hand tapped/poked tattoos. No machines! Unfortunately Grimble couldn't be there because of prior commitments. He would've loved it (He has a goth chick fetish ha ha!). I have a rule that I have imposed on myself tattoo-wise, nothing on my hands, face or neck until I have enough cash that I never need to work again. What really pisses me off is when kids get their very first tattoo and it's their last name across their neck. How are they supposed to get a job looking like that? I love tattoos but I know there are people out there who take one look at them & think THUG or LOSER.
It's the same with weed, if you come right out & say you smoke weed some people automatically think you're some kind of bum or worse a junkie! Hence the anonymity of the page. As it was my first convention I decided not to pre-book any sessions before I go & just enjoy having a look around (plus I'm a bit strapped for cash). I wasn't disappointed, I had a great day with some cool people. I got home around dinner time after having a few beers in Edinburgh then a few in Glasgow. I normally don't like to drink too much then smoke as I think it ruins the stone but I shook the booze off and blasted a few bangers after dinner with the wife. We then watched The fighter with Mark Wahlberg & Christian Bale. It was a pretty good film. It was almost like reality TV. It was brutally honest about family, boxing & drug use.

Sunday

The fucking clocks go forward!! I feel robbed of an hour in my bed! I'm writing this at work after almost falling asleep at my desk Sunday was a lazy day, visited my nieces & nephew then went shopping for a bit. Came back home at watched a bit of the Scotland Vs Brazil game. I'm not really into football (soccer) so I didn't  really mind that they lost. After dinner got baked & watched the Ricky Gervais show, 30 Rock & The Office (Michael Scott's leaving will be hard in us all.)




Anyway, that was my weekend.

Keep Blazin'

Strain : UNKNOWN

Shogun and I decided that from now on, we'd avoid buying weed that was without name!  The trouble is, where we live, we don't have the luxury of Amsterdam coffeeshops or Dispensaries.  More often than not, we've really just got to take what's available.  However, our network of 'guys' we buy from seems to have evolved so that they know exactly what sorta shit they're selling.

Recently, I started using a guy that claimed to have a most excellent strain of Skunk.  This was brilliant news, because not only did he have Skunk, but he claimed to have a never ending supply of it!  I readily bought a couple of bags and, quite frankly, it was shit.  The bags contained a pretty poxy amount and the stone was nothing to write home about.  However, the big plus for this guy is convenience - he almost delivers right to my fucking door!  

Anyway, this guy got in touch to say that he had just got a batch of weed which is ten times stronger than anything I've ever smoked.  According to him, Blue Cheese may taste a little better, but this stuff would blow my fucking mind.

Quite a big claim, I know.

"What's the name of the strain?", I ask.

"I dunno.  The guy I get it from doesn't tell anyone the name because he doesn't want anything to be traced back to his seeds.", he replies.

For me, the only plausible reason for this would be if he has managed to breed his own super-strength weed, but I highly doubt that.  

I fired off a message to Shogun to hear his thoughts on this unknown TNT weed.  He told me that he had just heard from one of his guys that S.A.G.E. (Sativa Afghani Genetic Equilibrium) was on offer.  It's always fucking typical - when you're not looking for any, there's weed coming from every direction!  

Anyway, back to this TNT!  This guy's Skunk wasn't up to par, nor was the quantity, so I didn't hold out much hope that the TNT would be the dopest dope I've ever smoked!  Fortunately, I have been able to get a fucking free sample!  I had a joint of it last night, but I had been drinking and had just smoked a cone of Blue Cheese.  I would have thought that if it was as strong as claimed, it would have put me on my back, but I didn't feel anything; sure, I felt stoned, but nothing like I was before!  The joint had been rolled for me, which couldn't have helped.  I think when sampling new weed, it's better to be smoked from your own hand. You're own joints are basically self-calibrated so you know that you're starting with a blank canvas when you spark up that beast!

So, I was more than prepared to write off the unknown TNT as a fucking wash-out! 

However....

Remember I said this guy almost home fucking delivers?!  Well, I got a little more so that I can make a better judgement!  Free samples are the shit!!

Weed is my religion

I'm not religious in any way shape or form, but if I was a christian I'd be committed to this:



Surely this is a loophole waiting to be exploited. Churches would be packed!

I think this might also have been in a Cypress Hill Song - Hits from the bong? I wanna get high?

Keep blazin'.

Smoking Routine

Here's my smoking routine:


Score weed (obviously)
This isn't as easy as you might think, in our part of the world it's more common to get a half oz of resin  than a nice bag of stinky green. So we have to source our supplier with care. I like to think of myself as a weed connoisseur and like to know what I'm buying. My favourite strains at the moment are White Widow (who doesn't love to smoke this?) & Northern lights (smokes like a fucking dream). Grimble has just acquired a nice batch of blue cheese. Which he had to go above & beyond the call of duty to get. Well played my stoner friend.



Location
I know a few stoners who have a "man cave" specifically for blazing & generally bumming around . These suit stoners to a tee. We can blaze in peace and should have enough in them to occupy our frazzled minds. I find big TVs & funny movies are a must.





Smoking buddies
70 % of the time I'll be puffing on my own. Occasionally I'll have my friends round (stoners & non stoners). The non-stoners have no option but to sit in a smoke filled room, which to be fair they don't seem to mind. The requirements for being a smoking buddy are not high but there are a lot of people who seem to break etiquette. I won't go into it here because Grimble has already posted blazing etiquette. Although, here's one: I had a stoner friend who found out that there was another stoner at his place of work. The topic came up & they were chatting away about various weed topics and this guy portrayed himself as hardcore. He then went on to ask my friend how much he could smoke in an evening (now this question to me screams amateur). My friend told him what we smoked when we got together and this fucking guy freaks out saying that we were bullshitting! What? He's just broke two major rules right there!
 My friend tells me this story & I say "well there's only one way to prove it. Let's have a smoke-off!" My friend relayed this info (challenge) back to his workmate and he couldn't make it round that weekend. That was fine, my friend told him it was an open invitation & he was welcome anytime. The only stipulation was to bring weed and that's just good manners. Needless to say he never came round. Ever!

Activities/Topics
This might be as simple as sitting baked playing Call of Duty, watching The Office (which is great) or creating a work of art while painting. Weed inspires! This is what has made Grimble & I start this blog. I like to write comedy too. You need something to occupy your mind while high. I like funny movies anything that gives you the giggles is a good combination with weed. Documentaries can be good too while high, you can really tune in on what it's about. I always make sure anything that needs done is done before I start smoking. There's nothing worse than being totally baked & realising you need to do something mundane like iron your work clothes or something else that'll take the edge off your high. You can have great debates with friends while high, the good thing about this is you almost always agree.

Munchies
There comes a time of the night where you get that familiar rumbling empty stomach feeling. Time for some grub! You can't really go wrong here but I think the key is the less preparation required the better, so it's a good idea to be stocked up beforehand. When Grimble & I have a major sesh we usually call for a takeaway around the 2/3 hour mark. This involves phoning for a kebab which if I'm being honest we probably wouldn't eat if we weren't high. Each to their own on this one. I wouldn't recommend anything too dry or it'll just feel like you're eating cardboard.

So that's it. My smoking routine. All you need is weed, a place to smoke it with or without friends & something to keep you occupied & a good feed.


Keep blazin'

Weed Review: Blue Cheese

Blue Cheese

This week, we've got ourself a bit of Blue Cheese!

It's an Indica dominant plant which was created by breeding a set of Blueberry males with Big Buddha Cheese.  The resulting seeds were grown out and a male was chosen from around 40 different Blueberry x Cheese contestants - becoming the fucking father of the super potent strain.  The selected Blueberry Cheese male was then crossed once again with a Big Buddha Cheese female which makes this a mostly cheese plant with just a hint of blueberry!

It's nice and dry to the touch and it really smells like a mother fucker!  A hit of this is fruity and burns really smoothly so I was ending up taking massive blasts of the fucker.  The stone makes you foggy in the head, yet active - hence the written review - usually I'm too fucking baked and I just sit and watch TV - Anchorman was on earlier so I sat and watched that whilst toking on a joint of this most excellent strain!

Blazing Etiquette

Everyone has 'house rules' when it comes to smoking.  These rules are never spoken of, or explained, but they must always be adhered to!  It shouldn't need to be explained to Stoners - it's like they are genetically hardwired!

These are our rules....


The joint is passed around clock-wise
This is simple.  There's no real explanation needed here - I suppose some people prefer to pass anti-clockwise, but that's just fucking weird!


Don't bullshit that you are an elite smoker
You'll be found out really fucking fast!  I've met numerous people who love to boast about how they can blaze like fuck, but it's obvious they are bullshitting.  If you aren't elite then just fucking admit it - there's nothing wrong with it!


Don't question an elite smoker's ability
This is just bad manners.  At the end of the day, we have nothing to prove and let's face it - the pussies that are questioning it aren't fucking elite.


The roller of the joint sparks the joint
Also known as roller's rights.  The roller can also offer this right to another.  This is always considered a very generous offer and it should never, ever, be taken for granted.


The roller of the joint douses the joint
Obviously, this is impossible if there are more than say two people in your smoking circle.  However, in a standard pair, the joint is passed back to the roller.  It can be refused by the roller though, but that's pretty fucking unlikely.


Every participating smoker must take their turn to roll
One exception to this rule is if someone has declared themselves to be a novice smoker and is unable to roll a joint. This does not earn you any cool points - unless you happen to be the one with the massive bag of weed!   Let's be honest about this though - everyone who can roll a joint, will do so.  After all, who doesn't love sparking the beast?!


Don't fucking hog the joint
Some people employ the 'puff-puff-pass' rule.  This rule's too fucking strict, I mean, how can anyone really enjoy toking on a joint when everyone in the fucking room is counting how many tokes you're taking (and let's face it - everyone is counting, because they can't wait to get the pass!).  As a general rule of thumb, pass the joint at the point where you would be happy, but not surprised, to be passed the joint yourself by someone else.  I would probably say that the only time that it would be almost acceptable to hog the joint is when the next (and last) person to be passed it is a novice and/or a non-roller.  These guys have no right to complain about hogging because they've contributed fuck all!


Don't refuse a pass
Unless you have declared yourself as a novice smoker, then you shouldn't be refusing a pass.  This is where the pretend-elite get ousted as the pussies that they are!  I once smoked with a guy who claimed he was elite only to refuse a pass in favour of smoking a fucking cigarette.  This is a fucking insult man, this was my weed we were smoking, in my home.  It was almost like him taking a dump in my toilet and leaving it for me to find!



Newcomers do not interrupt the flow
If someone joins the group, the flow does not change.  The person who's next in line for the joint knows that he's next and the current toker doesn't have any right to offer the newcomer the next pass.  However, if the next guy is feeling generous, he can offer the new guy the pass but only if he has not taken a toke of it.  The second he tokes on the joint, he looses the right of 'newcomer hospitality'.


Building and rolling
Generally, each elite would take a turn at rolling a joint.  In the same way that it's passed; in a clockwise direction.  This is assuming that each person has contributed to the weed supply.  If you haven't contributed then you must ask for permission to roll - after all, it's not your fucking weed to just roll a fat one and spark it!  A non-contributer would not usually be in the group for the duration of the stoner session - more than likely they're just passing through.

In the beginning..

...weed created stoners.

2 stoners decided to put their sessions to good use & see if the shit the spoke about was as funny as they thought while high.

This is a blog for stoners by stoners.

Ladies & Gentlemen please welcome Shogun & Grimble!!